No more accidents

Embrace (feeling transformed by Spirit and expressing that)
Pastel and paint on paper © Cathy Barney

[I wrote this blog specifically for a contest answering how words have transformed someone spiritually, but I also think it’s appropriate here. Because of a 300-word limit, it is a shorter-than-usual post and without the ending prose-poetry summary. I’d love for you to share how words have done the same for you!]

 Listen to post:

God used to speak to me via auto accidents; probably because it took me a long while to discern her softer whispers. In 1998, I experienced a doozey, which triggered an arduous journey toward fibromyalgia diagnosis, acceptance and healing. Pain has been my constant companion and teacher, inching me closer to Spirit, though I am not always a willing student. Images and words have become my therapy, my lifeline.

Righting what seemed like a wrong directed me toward yoga and Quakerism, a melding of mind, body and spirit. In redefining myself through the lens of disease, I rediscovered art as an opening. A mentor suggested I journal about my art. I had been the journalist who never journaled; I only wanted the facts as they related to telling someone else’s story. Dozens of notebooks and hundreds of blog posts later, I understand the power of words to transform and heal me, unlock and nurture others.

As I wrote about my art, I recognized it was expressing my deepest self. My heart began to flow through my pen and onto the page, softening it to God. For me, journaling and art are my purest forms of prayer. Exposing the deepest, darkest, messiest parts of myself in writing clears the way for Spirit’s transforming light, tapping that of God within and calling me forward. Calling me to be more of who I am. Often, my words end and God’s take over. We have one breath, one heart and one mission: to love. No more, no less.

No more accidents.

• How have I experienced God?

• What has discomfort taught me?

• How has it brought me closer to Spirit?

• How does writing or self expression clarify my relationship to God?

• How have words, mine or another’s, opened me spiritually?

Spiritual mermaid

Every once in awhile, when I switch my daily swim to the afternoon as I did today (my favored morning time is crowded this time of year with resolution keepers, who will dwindle by March), I encounter John, a former chef. He’s a great storyteller who’s experienced much in his life, not all good, yet he always flashes a smile and seems genuinely pleased to see me.

I have met so many interesting people at that little gym pool. More than I ever could have imagined. We’re all drawn there for various reasons, but usually they are health or pain related. The water is healing as we all have discovered. Some of us have even talked about that. I also think we each add our own healing into the mix.

I could probably swim laps faster – though I work at a pretty good clip – but I hum the number of the lap I am swimming to keep track and, more importantly, add good energy and a prayerfulness to the water. I think of it as water goddess, mermaid, power.

A wonderful Quaker friend of mine introduced me to the concept of what positive intention, prayer included, can do to water ... someone has even studied it. That research concludes that chaotic water molecules organize into beautiful shapes when exposed to beneficial comments or prayers. So, I believe that by purposefully spreading affirmations as I swim, the water will be helpful and healing to the next person to take a dip.

I find diving in is such a spiritual metaphor for me as if I am experiencing the Divine in such a wonderful, kinesthetic way. Floating is the balance we all seek: being so deeply rooted in our bodies that we can let go ... enough practice and we don’t even have to think about it ... it comes naturally and everything is at ease, nothing hurts and all is pure joy.

Being in the water is pure joy for me.

• What brings me pure joy?
• Do I make it a regular practice?
• Is there anything in my daily life I can make more intentionally spiritual?
• Are there places I encounter others beyond my faith community with whom I can share something deep?

just jump in
breathe, glide
be joyful
in receiving such joy,
is there a way,
a place to
spread that to
others?
to turn chaos
into beauty?