Lay your burden at the feet of Christ.
Give yourself unto me.
With those words murmured into my heart during worship, I was able to begin to truly surrender. I have been moving toward this process since June, when Spirit commanded me to lay down on a pew in a Meeting that wasn't my own and surrender.
Sunday, I did lay my troubles at Jesus' feet and gave the rest to God. Suddenly, I felt jolted awake, really awake. A golden light invaded me and I experienced a wonderful lightness. For me, this is surrender.
And, I believe I must do it every day. Every, single one.
For years, I have "played" with the relationship among me, God and Jesus. I've always known Spirit, but it was Jesus who mystically reached me as a pre-schooler, secretly signaling, when an adult told me my heart was black with sin, NOT to listen. Again, when, as a junior-high student I sat in an evangelical country church listening, then seeing Jesus' image in my shiny, new amber ring. I was jolted into paying attention. Again, the night before my father-in-law's funeral, when I dreamt I was bicycling up a hill as a mini tornado kicked in and a road sign that read "chosen one" burst into flames, then morphed into a shimmering image of Jesus. Again, a few years later in another dream as my now-deceased aunt and I were conversing in a quiet church vestibule and she said "You had better choose." Instantly, the gorgeous stained-glass window parted, Jesus' image fluttered and achingly beautiful, but unearthly, music commenced.
The past two years I have discerned the message of Jesus' resurrection; it's a personal message for me. I now it unconsciously, but desire to articulate it so mind, body and spirit connect with it.
This recent message to hand Jesus my burden and give God the rest moves me to understanding. I have felt so broken for so long and so responsible to fix it. I have begun to see we are all broken and that, perhaps, I am lucky to know my brokenness so intimately. It is through our brokenness that we may approach Jesus, for the Christ energy truly understands and has the ability to absorb our brokenness, freeing us to more wholly give ourselves to God. Jesus is, indeed, the wounded healer through whom we may find our way to God.
As Quaker founder George Fox said, I know this experimentally. I know this from experience, directly from God. God has been revealing this message in bits and pieces and, finally, the puzzle is complete enough for me to begin to get the bigger picture. Although I know that as soon as I say that, things will shift and I will feel that the more I know, the more there is to know.
For now, however, I am satisfied to understand this simple concept of accepting my humanity, giving the dark parts to Jesus and saving for Spirit what is of God.
Wow. So simple and probably I have been told and read this so many times in my life. Only now I begin to understand.
Thank you, Jesus for taking my woes, wrongs, dis-ease and darkness, freeing me and helping me re-claim my spiritual nakedness so I may return to God.
• What role does Jesus play in my life?
• How do I understand the Christ energy?
• How does Jesus prepare my way to Spirit?
• When have I given my true self to God?
• What is surrender like for me?
so serenely simple
and in my face
but the filters
and the world's
puffed up the
ego, which told
me not to trust
managed to help
me forget my
of Jesus' truthfulness
which has always
I am ready,
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