Friday, May 11, 2012

Threshold of the brown steel door

Listen to post:

This pattern of so-called coincidence continues.

Last Saturday, I attended the local Catholic church's flea market looking for some items for my studio and, always, a stop at the book section. I have found some of my favorites among their spirituality boxes over the years. Pickings were slimmer this time, but no less rewarding. The first book to peer out at me was one on praying with St. Catherine of Siena.

Ohhhhhhhhh, I thought as I shuddered. She has been in my heart since last October when we visited Siena and her church. I even picked up a prayer bracelet with her image: bright red, making me feel empowered when I wear it.

Praying with St. Catherine, who shares my name, which means pure ... what could be better, more timely or appropriate right now? Not much. I love that this church is also within the quadrangle of my new school home, the Catholic school and Methodist church. I am home.
[Tad Barney photo]

I immediately took my finds to my studio across the street and incorporated them into the new space. Then I put Catherine aside for a bit. Until I built a meditation tent from bolts of purple and green fabrics. Again, something I had been unknowingly collecting for this studio. A few days later and earlier this week, I sat in the tent and started reading the book on Catherine. Besides sharing a name, our lives are not very similar though I value her deep spirituality, faithfulness to God and ability to be with the sick and dying. I don't go for self-flagellation, which was common in her era. At least not physically ... maybe mentally at times. But when I began to read about her theology, I stopped dead on the page: "to love and be loved" those were really the essence of what she believed.

For days, I have been racing through journals and blogs to find those same words I wrote not so very long ago as the essence of what I have come to know as Truth. I can't find them, but I know they came to me. Perhaps on a day I was wearing Catherine's prayer-bead bracelet. Maybe while doing the Bible study on Luke.

While searching for that entry, I came across another from last October that is so very relevant right now:

In the sauna, when I shut
my eyes, a door emerged:
dark against a blazing light
from above and beside.
A door for me to enter.

• What's the door?
• What's preventing me from entering?

The door is the next sacred step
into myself – becoming more
of myself. It's where God is
leading me. It's a step/leap
of faith. Faith in God, but,
more importantly, faith in 
myself, my gifts, my experience
and what God is asking of
me – where I'm being led.

It is the next dimension
or level.

It requires enough healing
to know the potential
that I am strong
and can walk God's path
for me.

It's an initiation deeper
into myself, my work ...
swimming into the 
current and letting it
take over.

leaving my comparisons
and judgments behind.
They drain me and keep
me from this task.

I'm to look ahead
ONLY to the
glorious wonders of
what can/will be.

just step over the
         that's all

just step over ...


And so I have. Over the threshold of the brown steel door on the first floor of Milford Main School, Room 101 and into my new studio, my new life, my new work, my new self.

• When has someone else's life resonated deeply with me?
• How has that connection strengthened my faith or prayer life?
• How is it possible I do that for others?
• How aware am I of influencing, encouraging or nurturing others in their spiritual journeys?
• What threshold have I crossed or am about to cross?

1 comment:

  1. A simple, unadorned steel door can sell for as little as $150, not including hardware, lock set, paint, or labor and typically runs as much as $400 at big-box retailers. Steel offers the strongest barrier against intruders, although its advantage over fiberglass and wood in this area is slight.