Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Humble Servant or Goddess of the World?

Today I was reading a family history that includes a Quaker from 1655, about the time they were founded. Apparently she was of royal heritage, but cast that aside and accumulated somewhat of a following as a “preacher.” Over time, the family left Quakerism.

Until me.

I grew up always hearing about that Quaker, Dorothea Scott Gotherson. There was a mystique to her. Someone revered and special, yet I hadn’t really a clue why. I have felt her energy and spirit in my journey to and into Quakerism, a sort of ancient resonance for me.

I have never felt comfortable saying I was Christian because that carries so much baggage and is loaded, in some respects, with judgment and superiority. But I can easily say I am Quaker and I’m not certain why. Perhaps because of the constant discovery, exploration and waiting for Spirit. It does instill some humility. Of course, I know many other Christians of all denominations who are humble.

What does being humble or full of humility really mean? It is something to which I aspire in my humanness. To me it seems to mean going about life in a quiet, unpretentious way, caring and being compassionate, following the heart.

Other times, I am really tired of feeling like the Mother of the World and would like to dabble in the opposite: having a fiery fit, throwing my wants and desires out in the open and having them met with no effort on my part. Yin and yang, maybe? I also want to be the Goddess of the World -- or myself, at least. Sounds like more fun than the humble servant. What’s the blend or balance?

Seems Dorothea figured it out.

• What speaks to me out of [family] history that may be a spiritual guide?
• How does what has come before influence me right now?
• Will how I live my life change the future for others?
• In what ways?
• What role does my body, my heart call me to today?

Not minding the small tasks one minute
and wanting to live large the next.
How do I claim what is really mine
from one moment and whim to the next?
Or are they all parts of myself?

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